i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
