She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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