Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
