Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
