We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
