is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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