I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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