So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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