at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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