she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
