Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
