I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
