I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
