Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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