Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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