dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
