in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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