I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My vagina just recognized that song.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
