i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
