um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
