my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
