Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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