Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
