He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
