yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
