My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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