How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The beer is more important than you right now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
pray to the hookup gods
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
