we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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