You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
