i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
