woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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