Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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