I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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