I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
