dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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