It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
