Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
