Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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