it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
