I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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