Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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