It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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