I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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