I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
