drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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