using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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