you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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