That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
