Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
