At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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