I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
