I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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