Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
there was a trapeze. enough said
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
